Introduction to EMDR Therapy
When we go through stressful or traumatic events, our brains don’t always have the resources to process them fully in the moment.
Our brains run on blood, glucose, and oxygen but that’s not the only resource they need. So often it’s support we’re missing out on; it’s that we felt alone or without the full help we needed when the dire moment struck.
When that moment of stress is bigger than the resources available to us the instant the bad thing happens, these tough memories can be stored in a way that makes us feel like the event is still happening, even when it's not.
Not Just in Your Head
We don’t just emotionally carry the burden, unable to “move on” from the moment. We often feel it physically too. For example, you might feel triggered by a certain noise or a smell, and it brings you right back to that traumatic memory.
The part of your brain that processes these events is timeless, and it has no idea that you are not back in time in the moment it happened right now. Your stomach may drop or your jaw may clench. Or you may have a sense of dread or shame wash over you. That’s heavy stuff, but there’s hope!
A Kinder Way of Remembering during Therapy
EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, offers a therapeutic approach to reprocessing these traumatic memories in a gentler way. It can help you be in the presence of the same triggers without your stomach tying in knots or your face turning red. Because your body doesn’t think you’re back in time when the bad thing happened anymore, and it doesn’t feel the weight of shame or whatever emotion is linked up (or associated with) that moment.
And you don’t just get the benefit while you’re at therapy. When you fully process what happened, and your nervous system truly believes that the moment is over, it diminishes your triggers’ power to evoke ongoing trauma responses. It’s like the venom has been removed from wound and it doesn’t get re-injured every time someone bumps into it.
Part of what allows this reprocessing to happen is called “bilateral stimulation.” Bilateral stimulation is a tool used in EMDR to help the safety mechanisms of the brain relax enough to think about the traumatic moment without your body’s fire alarm going off. More on that below.
That fire alarm knocks your logical brain offline so the fight/flight instincts can take over and get you the heck out of Dodge. The alarm is ever so helpful when we need a burst of energy to run from a bear, but when we’re in a safe place trying to heal, it keeps us in a loop of re-living the bad moment, and that just doesn’t sound healing or even kind.
Bilateral stimulation, a fancy name for a simple, supportive EMDR therapy tool
So enter bilateral stimulation to help our brains relax and remember that we’re in a cozy therapy room with a trusted ally in this moment right here. Bilateral stimulation just means moving side to side. Like swaying in a hammock or walking in the woods.
You know how sometimes the best conversations come when you’re on a walk with someone you care about? There can be a lot of things that help that happen, like being in nature and being side by side rather than face to face, and moving your body, and who knows what else. It’s just great.
But another thing that happens is the back and forth movements you’re making. Left, right, left, right. A soothing rhythm that engages both sides of your brain and helps bring a sense of balance.
What Bilateral Stimulation Looks Like in EMDR Therapy Sessions
We can mimic that left, right, left, right bilateral stimulation in therapy sessions with a few different tools:
Eye movements: the classic that EMDR was built on. The therapist moves their hand steadily back and forth, inviting you to follow their fingers with your eyes while your head stays still.
Tactile movement - we have what we call “EMDR tappers” (pictured below) that you hold in the palms of your hands. The tappers buzz left side, right side, left, right. It feels similar to your phone’s “vibrate” notification and can be adjusted in strength so that you can barely feel the pulsing or so that you feel the intensity all the way up your arms - every setting in between.
Sound movement - you can wear headphones and listen to relaxing music that pans slowly from the left channel to the right channel, left ear, right ear.
Body movement - you can create bilateral stimulation without any extra tools:
Butterfly hug - you can cross your arms over your chest, allowing your hands to gently tap your shoulders alternating sides
Tap your legs - you can gently tap your legs, even under a table or subtly in a waiting room chair if you’re stressed
Tap your palms - you can alternate tapping your palms with the middle finger of the opposite hand, back and forth, and you might want to experiment with holding your wrist at different angles for your comfort.
Go for a walk - you may need to work it out with your therapist ahead of time (so they have appropriate shoes and outerwear that day), but walk and talk therapy is always an option! It has tons of benefits, the bilateral stimulation aspect being just one.
EMDR Tappers to Hold for Soothing Bilateral Stimulation
A Leg up in the Therapy Process
Bilateral stimulation is like an extra support for you while you’re talking about hard things. And! It’s passive support. It’s just there for you to receive while you face what you need to face in order to finally feel free. With the support of one of your biggest fans (your therapist) there with you, too, of course.
Bilateral stimulation sets the stage for EMDR to happen, but there’s some more cool stuff that happens to help you get the most out of your processing time.
What to Expect in an EMDR Session
Your EMDR therapist’s first goal is to create safety in the room. This will include:
Getting to know what your goals are, what “better” will feel like for you
Ensuring there are comfort items in the room (weighted blanket, fidgets, pillows and blankets to make a couch nest, and anything that helps you feel cozy and supported)
Understanding your past experiences with therapy spaces
Understanding what feels safest for you to do or address in session
Teaching grounding skills for when emotions or memories are overwhelming
Overall: creating a space that is most comfortable for you
Depending on the EMDR techniques your therapist uses (more information on additional techniques below) your therapist will collaborate on a plan with you for the EMDR sessions.
Before you begin the reprocessing part of EMDR, you will choose what kind of bilateral stimulation feels best for you. Again, you’ve got plenty of options, like eye movements, tapping, or audio tones. The therapist will practice each with you and you get to decide what you like.
After you complete all the steps above, reprocessing may begin. The therapist will gently guide you through the steps - there is nothing you have to remember to do!
The Goal in EMDR Reprocessing
The goal in reprocessing is to decrease the intensity of the memory by unhooking it from the awful sensations, emotions, and shame-ey beliefs you may have internalized when it happened. So the memory can just be the memory of what happened, without all the extra burden. So you can think of it without ruining the rest of your day.
So it no longer has power. After reprocessing, the memory may feel like a fuzzy, distant thought. It’s not that you forget what happened, and you may even feel a little sadness or self-compassion that it happened, but it no longer defines you. It’s a memory, but just a memory. No longer a motor idling in the background of your nervous system burning you out and leaving you on edge.
What to Expect after EMDR Sessions
After each session, our body and brain may still be gently reprocessing without your conscious effort. It’s kind of like a computer downloading updates while you’re still using it.
For many, this may be evident by:
Feeling pretty tired after the session
Having new insights
Having new (or weird) dreams
Reacting differently with others
Having less aches and pains.
Your therapist will remind you to simply notice this and be gentle with yourself. You may even practice some of the grounding skills you learned in therapy if the emotions showing up feel overwhelming. If any sensation or any thought feels unsafe, let your therapist know.
What to Expect after completing EMDR Therapy
Depending on the complexity of the event or traumatic pattern, EMDR may take just a few of sessions, or it may take a few months or longer to sift through multiple layers - only your brain and body know, and your EMDR therapist will be following your pace.
However long it takes, after fully completing EMDR therapy, you may experience a whole range of responses and outcomes. Many folks experience their trauma symptoms as feeling less intense, and moving through their life and relationships with more ease, feeling less held back and maybe feeling more present. For example, some folks have noticed less of:
Intrusive memories
Nightmares
Flashbacks
And general emotional distress related to the traumatic events they’ve processed during therapy
Additionally, some people find that they have gained new insights and perspectives on their past experiences. This can contribute to an overall improvement in their mental well-being and quality of life.
It's important to note that the effects of EMDR therapy vary from person to person, and some individuals may require additional sessions or ongoing support to fully address their trauma symptoms, especially if they’re in a situation where the trauma isn’t over or their environment is physically or emotionally unsafe.
However, many people find that EMDR provides them with significant relief and empowerment in overcoming their traumatic experiences.
If you’d like support from us in particular with your EMDR journey, please let us know and we’d be honored to work with you.
An Additional Technique you Might Encounter in EMDR Therapy
S.A.F.E. EMDR Approach:
S.A.F.E. EMDR is an additional tool sometimes used in EMDR therapy that incorporates somatic and attachment focused exercises.
Somatic means body. Our body shows us our emotions through different sensations, or somatically. When we have an upset stomach when we are anxious, or when we have neck pain after a stressful event, that is our body trying to tell us something doesn't feel right.
The therapist can teach you various tools to both better notice your body's sensations and to help your body relax so that it can feel safe and present.
Attachment focused therapy understands that our experiences as children affect us into adulthood and affects the way we interact with others. Everyone has attachment (relational bonding) styles that have kept them safe and connected. Sometimes our attachment wounds can show up in therapy to protect us.
Your S.A.F.E. EMDR therapist will help you better understand your attachment styles so that EMDR is more effective and safe.
