Glossary of Neurodivergent Therapy Lingo
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Emotional dysregulation is part of emotional regulation, and part of being human!

Again, the goal is not constant calm, or appearing to have it all together.

The goal is to feel less distressed by the fact that you dysregulate, and trust in yourself to be able to handle what comes, and that it feels less scary because you know you can get yourself back.

It is more and more ability to shift flexibly between our natural states of emotional regulation and dysregulation, and to find the supports we need to help our nervous system adapt to keep us safe.

Emotional Regulation is Part of Executive Function

When we’re in danger, our brains re-allocate the blood, glucose, and oxygen away from the parts of our brain that run our executive function and toward our large muscles - so we can run! Bye bye, brain resources.

In times of stress (acute or prolonged) or sickness, we may not even have all of our executive function, and thus our emotional regulation, available to us. While most days we don’t have the same survival stresses our ancestors did with running from saber tooth tigers, relational stress is now what our brains, as bonding mammals, consider our biggest threat most of the time. Hello, rejection sensitivity dysphoria and feeling misunderstood as a neurodivergent person.

Further complicating things, our sense of time also goes offline with our executive function and it feels like our current emotional state will never, ever end. And then that just makes the emotions feel worse, and makes us feel helpless against the tide of pain (and so often shame).

We say all this to normalize emotional dysregulation and we hope help take the shame-ey stuff out of it. But there’s indeed hope for feeling better . .

Who Might Struggle Often with Emotional Regulation?

1. Individuals with Trauma: Past traumatic experiences can affect how our brains regulate our emotions.

2. Neurodivergent Individuals: ADHD, autism, sensory processing, etc. can influence emotional responses.

3. People with Other Mental Health Struggles: Mental health challenges can exhaust our emotional response abilities. 

4. Children: The youngest brains don’t have the ability to develop emotional regulation skills, and even as their brains develop, it is a process for young people - again, always limited to their age-appropriate (and own, personal, unique) brain development.

5. Those Under High Stress: Financial difficulties, disabilities, social pressures, racial biases, social inequity, and family stress can all contribute to emotional dysregulation (that society then punishes people for 🤦, perpetuating the chronic stress).

6. General Public: Many people in the performance-based and appearance-focused U.S. face high levels of anxiety and stress, which can affect emotional regulation.

Special Strategies for Regulation for Neurodivergent Individuals

1. Create a Sensory Toolkit: For those who are sensitive to sensory inputs, having a toolkit with noise-canceling headphones, fidget toys, or calming scents can help manage overstimulation.

2. Maintain Routines: Consistent routines can provide a sense of predictability and stability, which can be particularly comforting for neurodivergent individuals.

3. Use Visual Supports: Visual schedules, charts, or reminders can help in managing daily tasks and expectations, reducing anxiety and stress.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Understand that emotional dysregulation is part of being human, and be kind to yourself when you experience it.

5. Seek Specialized Therapy: Work with therapists who specialize in neurodiversity and can offer tailored strategies to help compassionately support emotional dysregulation.

6. Develop Coping Strategies Specific to Your Needs: Identify and practice techniques that work best for you, whether it’s deep breathing exercises, punching a pillow, sensory breaks, compression clothing, or structured relaxation techniques.

7. Connect with Supportive Communities: Engage with support groups or online communities for neurodivergent individuals. Sharing experiences and strategies with others who understand can be incredibly beneficial.